super mom of the day

It`s actually beautiful outside. I`m sitting here on my balcony overlooking a parking lot, some trees, and a highway. The view is pretty, it`s a part of our life here in the city. Even the noises I am well adjusted too. The steady vroom of traffic as it flies by, each and every one of those vehicles doing something different on a Tuesday at noon. The opening and closing of doors and people come and go from the apartment building next to mine. The bird and squirrels that are enjoying this sunshine as much as me. and even the kids that are out and about playing I have adjusted to.

Today is one of those days where I am super mom, super wife, super woman. I am content in my lace in life at my comings and goings of every day. I have the laundry done and the dishes done and the house cleaned up 9minus the vacuuming) all before noon, I have dinner on the go and while my ocd compels me to find a million more things to do like sweep up the balcony, and dust the tv and tv stand and sweep out the cat room, and wash the table in the living room, I wont. Okay well I will probably sweep up the balcony, and i will most defs be vacuuming when my girly gets up from her nap, but today I am enjoy the sun, today we are going to go for a walk in the park, today I refuse to let the scariness of the city frighten me. Today I am super mom.

It`sso easy for me every single day to become overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by my lack of human interaction by my constant toddler chasing and apartment cleaning and feeling like I am accomplishing nothing in life and getting no where fast. But on days like today I can`t help but be anything but happy. I have a beautiful little girl, my own apartment with my own little family , and while sometimes this all feels silly or childish like those games of house we play as children (which I most often feel like myself). It`s days like today that I`m not worried, I am going somewhere and becoming something. Life may not be moving as fast as I would like it to  be , but the reality is that its niceto slow down and enjoy life as it comes. I may have a long one or a short one so there is nothing to do but enjoy it day by day and be content.

The Stupidest Thing

Again I let my temper get out of control and over what?!?! not a damn fucking thing. for serious. Matt got home from work, I had a toothache but never the less wanted to go out. We got cleaned up/dressed etc. and headed to valu-village to drop some shit off. Hung out there for a bit and then decided we needed Chinese food for dinner, the night was great it's not very often that he's home from work early enough that we can go out. Anywho we went to the mall and got dinner from the food court, and then headed for home. I wanted ice cream. More specifically I wanted either creamcicles or drumsticks with no nuts or plain ice cream in a bucket with cones. Him being him in typical him fashion agreed. Pit stop at the closet grocery store and in we went. First on my list of irritation:

• "hunni we dont have room in the freezer for a tub or box of ice cream" OHKAY then.
• "We can get a box of 12 drumsticks for 8.99" DUMBASS THEY HAVE NUTS ON THEM AND THAT PRICE IS STUPID!
• so he finally  box of mini creamcicles 24 in the box for like 5.49 flavors include cherry (ew) grape(ew) orange(ew) and lime (oh okay)

So here I am with not the ice cream I want irritated at the selection that the Co-Op DOESN'T have but I'm all be a good girlfriend don't ruin the night just get out of here you'll be fine. NUUUUUUUUUUUUU that can't happen. Get to the self serve check out cause the fucking store is ridiculous busy at almost 9 pm...(WTF) and we can CLEARLY see that the one were waiting for is being used although the person is nowhere to be seen and some guy out of fucking nowhere comes up to us and tells us "this one is being used just so you know"
>insert mental scream and kick and punch here<
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ASSHOLE !!! I HAVE GLASSES ON MY FACE I LOOK THE FARTHEST THING FROM SPECIAL ED EVER AND YOUR POINTING OUT THE OBVIOUS. WAY TO WASTE MY TIME YOU FUCKING DICK CHOMPER.

I looked calmly at me and with a great deal of restraint in my voice and volume of said voice said Matt I'm getting irritated can we please go, either to the other store or home.

His response "Why hunni why are you irritated"
"i'm just mad matt please let's just go"
"Why, Why are you mad?"
"FUCK YOU im going to the truck give me the keys do what ever you want!"
>insert every one stares at me<

Matt comes to the truck and asks me why im so mad I told him to take me home and whats he do goes to the super store...."Wtf are you doing here Matthew?" "Getting you your icecream" "Your not wasting more money fuck you I'm not eating anything you buy here "

Off he goes in the store so I text him and told him if he came out with anything i wasn't talking to him all night. apparently he didn't get that message till we got home but the point is I'm a stubborn stupid ass and I was pissed off so now I'm not eating any of the ice cream bars he got, and he didn't even get a good night last night .lmfao .I feel retarded

A brief warm up

I legitimately feel like I should be a nymph tonight. I forgot, no I failed to remember how relaxing and freeing a lack of clothing is. Chilly but the joys of having hair that reaches to about my tattoo is enough for warmth So now I sit and enjoy the music and the pecking away of the keys as I type my thoughts which is really just a warm up before  actually continue with a story I had begun, I listen to my daughter excite herself by chasing nothing around and the faintness of Coraline meant to occupy her but clearly not as shes pushing around her teddy bear in her dollies stroller. its all very adorable and serene here right now excluding the fact that dinner has yet to be started at almost 8pm, my Mattie is not yet home, and the apartment is no longer clean but tonight none of that matters. Tonight I am in my rightful place, taking in every sound and feeling, the discomfort of the wooden chair beneath my ass with only a towel between the two, the coldness of my toes tucked up under my thighs, the tickle of my hair carrasseing my back, its all very surreal and I love nights like this. but I think I am ready, fingers flicking over the keyboard, mind empty of useless thoughts, and daughter content to rock her own little thing. Now for my escapade into the depths of my imagination.

xoxox

Busy day and its not even 10

It is 8:54am and yup I am awake. Say HUH!?!!?!? I know right. If you know me you know I barely drag my ass out of bed at 9 just to tell my daughter to go back to bed for 30 more minutes. and yet............I am awake to hear her knocking away on her door and instead of sending her back to bed I am prepping breakfast for her, not even the typical sippy cup of milk and a bowl of dry cereal or a bun and banana, nah super mom has bacon and scrambled eggs and all that nice stuff on the go. I have been awake since 5:30 this morning. What for you ask ?!?! Well to clean my entire apartment spotless before lunch time.
My mother was going to come in today, pick me and Phoebe up and we were going to head out and get some crap done that she needed to do. I wouldnt have minded her seeing a bit of a mess but now I find out late last night that my step dad is coming in with her too !! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! so yes i have been up cleaning since 5:30 (it wasnt that messy I finished beefore 8 except Phoebes room and the vacuuming but those are now on the list. then to clean up breakie dishes and get dressed and VOILA!
is it nap time yet ??? I honestly hate days like this where everything is done before 10 am now the rest of my day is going to be .....blech !!

anywho
xoxox

Spring Clean and a discussion with myself

With every spring comes that pain in the ass excuse parents give children as an excuse to why they are being put to work so intensely but as a mother I get it now, Good ole spring cleaning time. I woke up this morning to find instead of two plugged nostrils I have a runny nose and replacing my sore throat is an itch and a cough (mustn't forget the fucked up shoulder because I sleep stupidly) but none the less I woke up to a windy day, and a messy messy apartment. Now as a mother I am more then aware that my mess is probably far less a mess then most people, as I've become quite obsessive person on the cleanliness of this apartment, whatever though, besides the point.Today I understand spring cleaning. it is woman's (or mans) excuse to de-clutter, mass overhaul clean and do it all without seeming like a freak.
Today this is my mission, from scrubbing the shower to washing the patio window, sorting through that room we call storage to if I feel so inclined bathing the cats. But as I am thinking about all the shit I am going to accomplish in min 1 hour max 3 (nap time of a certain girl) I keep thinking of other shit to do like de-clutter my laptop, and sort my books, and that brings me to the main reason of this post is de-clutter and minimize my spce on the interwebz. *sigh* how does one do that though. One , being me, that is attached to things to easily. for instance I have an account here .. clearly, with two blogs, and 3 or 4 deleted ones that i cant fully delete, and I also use tumblr with three blogs there now, I can bring myeslf to delete the one side one off here but not the main, or the two sides off tumblr but again not the main.

Whatever shannon. what is your issue, would you liek atissue to sweetheart. yes in fact i would the problem lies in that i don't want two blogs I want one. this on is the easiest to delete but......I LIKE THIS OVER TUMBLR FML. yeah and i follow some cool ass shit on tumblr but i would forever feel the need to update that one and this one and I can't do it.

whatever shannon your wasting time now. your procrastinating. go clean you house...
okay.

that is all for now. tootles. and maybe I'll take pics when I'm done haha or not