An early morning thought process.

It`s easy for me to reflect upon everything on mornings like this. The early ones when everything is still quiet and everyone is still asleep. Not that I've gotten up for shits and giggles, just the couch was killing me, and I had to many pressing thoughts on my mind. C'ést la vie.
But it really is peaceful. I mean I can hear the traffic just getting going for the day, the fridge running, the wind blowing through the patio door that had to be left opened all night. And it's days like today that I sigh in relief but I realize I'm not just surviving another day, I'm living another day, I'm actually making in this big world. How many people I would like to go and find on mornings like this and after a solid punch to the gut (or face) look them square in the face and say simply I told you so, then in typical Shannon fashion stick out my tongue (because it's real mature and I'm awesome cool like that)
But seriously how many times in my life have people told me I won't make it, I won't become anything or make anything of myself, I'm a loser, I'm a nothing. But guess what! I have made it, each and every day through hell and high waters, I've become stronger, prouder, more independent, and wiser and kinder and I love with a full heart. I've become a mother and  daughter to a mother I never knew, I'm a girlfriend and a best friend, a support system for other people. Sometimes I'm the stars in someones eyes and sometimes I'm someone else's foundations but I have mde myself into a person I'm proud to be. I'm not a loser today I'm a winner. I look at where I live and with who I live with and what I've been blessed to have in my life, a good man, a beautiful little girl, supportive family on both sides, friends that I love and I know that return the sentiment. and I am most certainly not a nothing. I making my impact, I'm leaving my mark, and I am making a difference, maybe just one person at  time, maybe only even a dent in a dent but its happening every day I live. I used to think impacts had to be huge but I've learned that simply telling someone you care about them changes something for them, in turn makes an impact. My impacts on this world are small, but god damn they are mine. so to everyone who said I couldn't, I did, and to everyone who told me I wouldn't, i am. and to all those that failed to believe in me, fuck you.
In retrospect I have to think, the one person who who i have negative feelings about is the one person who told me i could, who told me i was and am and are and can be and will be. My dad always told me I could do anything, be anything, see anything, have, want, and love anything. Well dad thank you. I am I am doing and seeing and being all there is.

Busy day and its not even 10

It is 8:54am and yup I am awake. Say HUH!?!!?!? I know right. If you know me you know I barely drag my ass out of bed at 9 just to tell my daughter to go back to bed for 30 more minutes. and yet............I am awake to hear her knocking away on her door and instead of sending her back to bed I am prepping breakfast for her, not even the typical sippy cup of milk and a bowl of dry cereal or a bun and banana, nah super mom has bacon and scrambled eggs and all that nice stuff on the go. I have been awake since 5:30 this morning. What for you ask ?!?! Well to clean my entire apartment spotless before lunch time.
My mother was going to come in today, pick me and Phoebe up and we were going to head out and get some crap done that she needed to do. I wouldnt have minded her seeing a bit of a mess but now I find out late last night that my step dad is coming in with her too !! SHIT!!!!!!!!!!! so yes i have been up cleaning since 5:30 (it wasnt that messy I finished beefore 8 except Phoebes room and the vacuuming but those are now on the list. then to clean up breakie dishes and get dressed and VOILA!
is it nap time yet ??? I honestly hate days like this where everything is done before 10 am now the rest of my day is going to be .....blech !!

anywho
xoxox